I climbed the Crest of Montezuma this morning.  The northernish part.  The rocky, bald~looking  part of the crest in the upper left of the above photo.

Next time I’ll be sure to find a gentler route because the path I chose today was a bit scary in a couple of parts.  I scrambled up high ledges of rocky shale, very slippery in places.  Fortunately I was able to grab junipers and wedge in where it most counted.  The climb was roughly 500 feet.  Probably less the way I went but it seemed to rise forever.  I was stoked to finally reach the top. 

While I was up there looking down onto some of the most amazing landscape I’ve seen in the Southwest, I was filled with sweet peace and a wonderful feeling of gratitude.  The message I brought back with me is that if I will take my concerns to the Great Big Hill, it will happily receive them and send me back home, empty of turbulence and totally free.

Here’s the present I made from cat food cans and attached to a juniper on the Crest:

On the climb/shale~slide descent, I found a Weird Thing.  I don’t know what it is but I bet my friend Jim would know.  It’s rubber, I think, and well, weird:

I am missing my husband.  The pangs hit about Friday and flourished all weekend.  He is back in New Mexico after having a looksee around the Gulf side of Florida.  But he’s in Las Cruces, feeling it out to see if that might be the place to begin a new chapter of life.

I miss him.  I’m trying to not let this become a distraction but I think I’m failing.  That’s about all I can say on it, other than I’m watching the moments as they unfold.  Whatever concerns I have I can take to my new friend, the Great Big Hill, aka The Crest of Montezuma.

~~~

Whatever you’re doing right now and wherever you are, may you relax into the never~ending unfoldment of your own life story.

Namaste

My friend Elaine must be psychic.  Yesterday afternoon she brought two bales of hay over for the skinny colt.  Since he’s a wild horse, I wasn’t sure I’d find him again after seeing him for the first time a few days ago.

Turns out he found me.

I’d walked the pipeline trail to the post office this afternoon and I’d noticed hoof tracks.  On the way back I noticed more hoof tracks, like maybe I’d been followed, and there he was, the skinny colt, about 20 yards from where I was standing.

I ran up and down and uphill back to the hay bale, grabbed a fat flake, and ran back.  He was grazing in the same spot I’d left him at.  I loosened the hay near a tree and as soon as I walked away he went to it and began eating.  It was most gratifying.  I’d wished Elaine could have been there then.

I don’t know this colt’s tale.  That his ribs and hip bones are jutting out so terribly and he’s all alone is alarming.  I think he might be ill.  But even if he doesn’t pull through this winter, God forbid, I like to think he is feeling the love and he can tell that he’s noticed and cared for.  Something good is rubbing into his evolving soul.

Thank you, Colt.  Thank you, Elaine.  Thank you, Mother Earth.

A few photos of the flora I’m finding around here where I’m living…

cholla fruit

mountain mahogany

mormon tea

pinon pine

yucca

~~~~~

May you be merry.  May you be well.

 I saw my first~ever wild horse about an hour ago, right out here in the place I call the Backyard. 

I’ve wanted to see wild horses all my life and I was stoked to hear they live in these hills and ravines.  When the moment arrived, it didn’t exactly match my fantasy. 

Me and Rick took the dogs up the crest a ways and on the walk back to the house we heard a loud whinny.  I followed it and found this gorgeous colt all by his lonesome.  He was nibbling something in the creek and when he saw me he didn’t run, he just watched and chewed.  I walked around the brush where he was so I could get a photo of him.  I was shocked to see his ribs and hips jutting out from starvation.

But his face.

He has an unbroken light in his eyes, totally beautiful, the utterly perfect flare of an eternal flame.

I hope I get to see him again.  I didn’t see any other horses around but I’m told there are three colts who run together.

 If I see him again, I’ll figure out his name.

Yesterday I found my way to the Placitas post office and it’s nothing like the old way to the old post office in town.  I’m stupified by the beauty I’m bobbing around in.  Perodically, I check to see if my feet are touching Mother Earth.  Half of the trail to the post office is pure wild and the rest is paved road of the less~traveled sort. 

I feel like every molecule of my being is pulling deep breaths of clear air into its own tiny set of lungs.  That is to say, I feel absolutely rejuvenated and energized.

There’s a beautiful old church in the village (I love to say ‘village’) with a cemetary next to it.

That’s part of the Sandia mountain range in the background, shiny with snow. 

It’s a lovely walk to the post office.  Next time I make the trip I hope I remember to bring a bag to put the trash in that’s laying by the side of the highway.  There’s not much, but even one piece of styrofoam offends the senses.  It’s so beautiful here, I hope I get to stay for decades to come.  I would like to be buried here when the time comes to lay this friendly body down.

I took my first full~on bath in the RV today.  It was basically the spongey type, only I used a wash cloth and two buckets.  I had a lot of washing, trimming, shaving, scrubbing and conditioning to do.  Then I washed out my longjohns and used the leftover water to wash the linoleum floor.  The entire process took about three hours, what with the heating of x~number of pans of water.  I used maybe three gallons of water in toto.

I rather like that part.

It was altogether enjoyable.  The sunshine had heated the RV up good and warm.  I pulled the curtains and enjoyed the spacious privacy.  I’ve become more conscious in how much I’m using: food, water, paper products, electricity.  Before I moved in here I was a bathtub queen.  I’m a water~sign and can’t help myself, I enjoy two gallons of water as much as twenty.

After I was clean and sparkling again, I pulled on new (used) shoes and topped off with a new (used) fleecy red jacket~shirt.  I picked them up at the Presbyterian food and clothing bank this morning.  I also found a sexy black lady’s coat with woolly collar and cuffs.  I’ll take pics tomorrow and post here. 

It’s ironic that in my poorest level of living, according to American standards, I’m enjoying the greatest, most effortless wealth.

Prosperity & Love.  I think they are the same thing. 

~~~

Blessings! 

Winter Cottonwood

My Uncle Edgar passed away yesterday.  He’d been desperately sick for a while and we’re glad he no longer suffers.  I’m convinced he’s gone to a Better Place. 

I feel mostly for my grandmother.  She’s buried two husbands and now she lays to rest a second child.  It seems backward when a child leaves this world before the parent.  Grandma Vicki loves her children.  This is going to hurt her.

I never know what to say to someone who’s lost a loved one.

Last weekend at the local church food bank there was a woman who was visiting for her first time.  Me and her and a few other women were standing around talking about body weight and this woman explained how she probably wasn’t going to ever be a size three again because, as she put it, she was emotionally eating because her son had committed suicide three months earlier. 

I set my bowl of soup down and wrapped my arms around her and she kind of just crumpled inward.

It hurts to watch that kind of pain.  I’ve been blowing prayers like smoke rings up to heaven all week long for this young mother, she’s got many years ahead of living with this tragedy.  I don’t know how we humans endure many of the situations life hands us.  I am humbled by the super~human strength of a person who gets back up and brushes off the dust and finds a way to continue on.

Bless you, little mama.  Bless you, Uncle Ed.  Bless Grandma.  Bless all of us.  May our burdens never be too much for us to bear.

Crest of Montezuma

I wish I had a stitcher program so I could make you a proper panoramic of the Crest of Montezuma.  All day long the light changes the face of this Great Big Hill that is the first thing I see each day.  I’m going to climb it.  But not right now.  I’ll let the weather warm again before I do that.

Spring is weeks away and the days are getting longer.  This consoles me on the coldest nights of January 2011.

One of the things that’s fun about where I’m living is all the stuff stacked and squished and laying loose around the property, perfectly perched for a big kid like moi.  Like this gorgeous wooden bowl that’s been out in the weather who knows how many seasons.  It’s a perfect example of wabi sabi. 

Courtesy of Wikipedia:

“The words wabi and sabi do not translate easily. Wabi originally referred to the loneliness of living in nature, remote from society; sabi meant “chill”, “lean” or “withered”. Around the 14th century these meanings began to change, taking on more positive connotations.^[1] Wabi now connotes rustic simplicity, freshness or quietness, and can be applied to both natural and human-made objects, or understated elegance. It can also refer to quirks and anomalies arising from the process of construction, which add uniqueness and elegance to the object. Sabi is beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of the object and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear, or in any visible repairs.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi

So far, I’ve nicked this exquisite bowl, an oak chair with a split seat and a magnifying glass who’s handle was busted off.  I am becoming one, perhaps, with the pack rats who are scurrying around in the walls of this RV right now. 

I love being out here.  Basic necessities are put into perspective.  I cherish water (bathing is now a luxury) flush toilets (there’s one within walking distance) and refrigeration (it’s cold enough to keep the RV fridge chilled, even though it’s not hooked up to power).  Most of all, it’s the company of others that’s grabbed the spotlight.

I think back to times when I was totally absorbed by A Very Important Project and wouldn’t step away from it to spend time with people I love.

I was crazy then.

I’m better now.

~~~

Today’s amusing moment blossomed when Rick came inside the RV and asked “Is this thing level?” and I looked at him with my head tilted because no, it’s not level.   “I can fix that,” he said.  I love this guy.

~~~

May you be merry, may you be well.  Unconditionally.

This was the first thing I saw this morning, peeping out from beneath my nest of downy goodness.

And this was the second thing I saw:

It sure is nice to be looked after by clouds and sky and dogs.  Left to right, it’s Pokey, Django and Taz.  I tried sharing oatmeal with them yesterday at breakfast but they wouldn’t touch a bite.  Annabella didn’t even want any.  I guess my oatmeal sucks (I polished off mine with tremendous gusto).  This photo reminds me of my friend Robert telling me last week what exactly a three dog night was.  It’s 23 degrees right now and dropping to 10 (according to the local weather) by morning. 

Yep.

I’d say it’s a three dog night tonight.

When I woke this morning (Morning Three) I wanted to run up and down the driveway so Rick and Sara could see me through their windows and shout I LOVE THIS PLACE!  I enjoyed the luxury of waking up warm and comfy with the sun shining over the top of the Great Big Hill.  The sky was deep blue and there was a bird singing from a tree.  I don’t know what kind of bird, but it’s song was melodic and made me happy. 

Thanks to Rick fixing the RV door yesterday so it closes properly, the icy draft was gone and we were good and snug.  I was able to hook up the big propane tank today~~~very very good; I hear we’re due for more snow after the weekend.  The weather forecast is calling for 10 degrees here on Monday night.  I’m considering getting a hot water bottle or maybe a heating pad so the bed can warm up before me and Annabella crawl into it.  I don’t know about you but I suffer from cold feet.  It takes a long time for my feet to warm up on winter nights.

Speaking of feet, I was given two wonderful pairs of barely used Adidas shoes today, thanks to the local Presbyterian food and clothing bank here in Placitas.  It’s a regular Saturday event.  Not only was I sent home with more than enough food for the week and those shoes and an Australian oilcloth jacket, I was fed breakfast.  It was quite an incredible experience.  I met many lovely people today. 

This has been an incredible week of gifts.  I’ve been offered a wonderful home in an outstandingly beautiful place with wonderful friends, I’m clothed and fed and there is not a single need left out. 

Sunset is a special time here because of the Great Big Hill and the way it changes colors as the light climbs to the top and inevitably leaps off into blue space.  I certainly feel like I’m living in the southern Rocky Mountains now.  Here’s a photo taken through Sara’s front room window, the GBH in gold:

This is Pokey:

Pokey is a delight.  He lives in a pack of three dogs and he’s in  the bottom~rung position.  He’s last in line.  He sleeps on the floor if the other two dogs won’t share the couch and even Annabella pushes Pokey around.  Pokey is a jewel.  He’s the one who’s always happy, always ready to play.  He’s sweet as sugar and he’s my new buddy.  He’s one of those wonderful hound mixes who loves to talk. 

Pokey’s a little bit camera shy, I caught him just before he spun around and trotted away.

~~~

Day Three and whatever regret or apprehension I felt about coming here and being away from Clay has completely dissolved.  I miss Clay like crazy but I know I’ve done the right best thing by coming here.  Thank you to all the powers and entities and spirits who had a hand in helping me find this place where I fit in. 

Thank you, super friends.

Morning Two in the RV was vastly more enjoyable than Morning One.  I located the single~burner camp stove (the kind that screws onto a propane cylinder) so there was hot water for face washing and teeth brushing this morning. 

There’s a great big high hill just north of this property and I pulled the curtains back and drank tea and watched the colors change across the little canyon.  I guess technically there is no canyon but the low rangy land that dips into the base of that big hill feels like a canyon.  I walked there with the dogs yesterday and found old horse manure; there are wild horses here, I just found out.  I’m told they meander through once in a while.  I’ve never seen wild horses before, I hope I can get some photos of them.

It’s a huge adjustment for me to be without my best friend Clay.  He phoned from Tallahassee today and sounds well.  He misses me like I miss him.  I hope we won’t have to wait too awfully long to see each other again.  I’m keeping busy with chores so I won’t be thinking about that stuff.

It’s beautiful here and the couple who live here are lovely, loving and loveable.  In the evenings I bring Annabella to the main house and we all sit in the upstairs loft drinking coffee and tea, listening to Rick play acoustic guitar and telling tall tales.  I especially enjoy the tall tales part.  I need to come up with some new ones…

There are three dogs here and they have decided to let Annabella stay.  I’m relieved because the dogs are much bigger than Annabella and she’s antisocial when it comes to fellow canids.  Pokey, the hound mix, is the most thoughtful of the three.  He seems to like Annabella.  Every morning when I get up and move around the RV, Pokey’s waiting by the doorstep for me.

Living in the RV is wonderful, by the way.  I need to thin out a few more of my belongings and switch out some others for this lifestyle, fine~tune myself in this situation.  I’m off to hook up the propane tank now. 

Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, may you be merry, may you be well.  Blessings.